Not a B****, Just Emotionally Lazy

It’s not entirely uncommon for people to think I am a bi***. I am not. I’m just old… and lazy, emotionally, that is. In all fairness to me, I was emotionally lazy in my youth. Now, I’m old, I am lazier.

Age does that to you. Your bones become brittle and your heart become weaker. More importantly, you patience become thinner. If you didn’t give a d@mn when you were young, you’ll probably find yourself wishing you were born a rock when you grow old because even breathing becomes a burden.

I have very few friends because I am too lazy to tolerate people’s bull**it.

Those who gossip about other people (whether or not “those people” is me) top the list. It doesn’t matter if the other person is a horrible excuse of an existence, gossiping is beyond juvenile, it’s downright indecent. If, at your age, you don’t have enough going in your life to mind your own business OR you simply get off contemplating how superior you are over other people, you’ll probably spend the rest of your life doing that and, unlike you, I just don’t have the energy.

I don’t like stressing over people’s lives. It’s bad for my heart. It’s not exactly classy to die of cardiac arrest and have the doctor determine it’s because of too much gossiping.

I am too lazy to deal with hypocrisy. Those people who act and pretend to be something they are not, to appear “cool” or to look “better” or to belong to a crowd or to form a certain image. I do data analysis for work almost everyday. I can deal. However, people are not data and I sure don’t get paid to figure out the truth behind people.

Besides, if they have to pretend to be someone else in front of other people or me, they either don’t think I deserve the truth or they don’t think their real selves are good enough or they are probably just really horrible human beings. So, why bother?

I also don’t bother with people who don’t honor their word. I don’t fancy signing contracts for every verbal exchange I have with people. That’s why I need to know I can count on their word. If they say they will do something, I expect it to be done.

I don’t know how I can continue to have a relationship with someone I cannot trust and I don’t see why I will even have to exert any energy trying to if they obviously don’t bother trying to be. It’s an exercise in futility.

I also don’t like inconsiderate people. I remember knowing someone who gets irritated with amber alert. It’s a d@mn text to let you know a kid has been kidnapped and, however unlikely, could be your chance to help a kid. It’s free and it gets delivered to your phone. Why hate on it?

There are worse cases, of course. People who refuses to help or don’t bother making an effort to help other people even if they can. Contrary to belief, I do think helping is an obligation because at its most basic, we get helped every moment we continue to exist. Whether it’s by the employer who continue to choose us even though they can hire someone else or that stranger who held that elevator door saving us from being late or that child who gave you the sweetest and sincerest morning smile to set you off your day or that landlady that hasn’t kicked you out of your apartment or that God you believe in.

We get helped. ALL.THE. TIME. It is but common humanity to pay it forward. If someone is too insensitive and inconsiderate to help others, they can live their selfish lives away from me.

There are people who expect to be treated like gods. They expect people to adjust to their preferences. They make plans and cancel last minute for insignificant reasons. They come to appointments late. They expect people to serve them.

I just don’t have the energy to serve or bear burdens I don’t have to. I am old and single and I have two jobs… and, did I mention I am old?

I am not a b**ch, I am just too freakin’ lazy to deal with bu***hit. I don’t hate, I am indifferent towards people’s drama. I have no energy or interest to weave through their mess. I have my own to sort out.


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