I don’t know when it happened but it did.
I stopped giving a damn about bullshit.
It may be because of my work. I’ve spent over a decade in marketing and advertising. Giving a f*ck is our business. I am pretty good at it, thank you very much but it consumed all the f*cks I have to give.
It may be my childhood. I was one of those kids that were highly disliked. I was probably annoying or downright unlikeable, who the f*ck knows? All I know is that even my closest relatives disliked me. My parents too, every now and then. I can’t blame them. If they didn't parent me properly I would probably be flipping burgers in some lost town halfway through hell.
Nonetheless, I probably got sick and tired of it all that (not my parents or their parenting but the giving a f*ck part).
It may be because I am simply too old to give a damn about bullshit.
I try to be a decent human being. It wasn’t always the case but as I grew up and mature, I started trying. I don’t know how successful I have been but judging from the quality of relationships I have been able to maintain, I’d say I haven’t done the worst job but there are some people who aren’t worth the effort.
#1. Disrespecting My Time
Everyone’s time is valuable. My appreciation of time is compounding as I grow older. Maybe it’s the demands of my two jobs. Maybe it’s the time required to maintain relationships. Maybe it’s my depleting energy because I am fast approaching my grave. Who knows? What matters is that I know how valuable people’s time is.
When someone shows up late for appointments, professional or personal, I feel queasy, like someone is inviting me to murder them. Sure, a couple of minutes is fine, maybe even five but going beyond that is a clear declaration of insanity.
As crazy as it may sound, it’s not the worst display of disrespect I’ve encountered.
There’s the “cancel at the last minute” type. There are people who cancel at the last minute… habitually. Then they lie about why they had to cancel. There are the classics - “something came up”, “My car broke down”, and “I am not feeling well”. Then they post photos of them having mimosa somewhere on their Instagram. Wonder freakin’ ful.
If you're going to ditch me, at least be creative about it.
#2. Cellphone Passion
Two people are having dinner and one or two of them are on their phones. What’s the freakin’ point of having dinner together? There are very few reasons that would justify that situation and all of it are pretty extreme.
I don’t care if someone wants to stay on the phone all day to talk, text or do other things cell phones are capable of doing nowadays. I do care that people choose to do it when they are with me. I don’t have a lot of time so I try to make it count when I spend it with other people. When I am with someone, I am with someone. I listen to what they have to say, I respond, I process their words and I do as much as I can to make them feel I am glad to be with them because I am. Otherwise, I wouldn’t spend time with them.
There are people who are just glued to their cellphones. They are with me but it seems apparent that they want to be with someone else. I don’t mind that but why the hell do they have to drag me to dinner or to whatever god forsaken thing they invited me to if they want to be someone else? I don’t mind if we’re in a group, at least I have someone else with whom I can “actually spend time”. I don’t mind if it’s an emergency call. I am not an @ss but if it’s just the two of us and the other person spends 90% of their time on their phone, it’s just dumb and I am trying to cut down on everything dumb in my life.
It’s perfectly fine if they want to talk on their cellphone, just don’t turn me into dumb audience. I’ve got other people with whom I want to spend time and my own sh*t to deal with, you know?
#3. Hypocrisy
He said he hate liars... then he posts photos of him on a trip somewhere after cancelling an appointment with you last minute because he is “not feeling well”. Way to go honesty.
She hates pop music… then she talks endlessly about how good Justin Bieber’s songs are just to get that boy to talk with her. Bieber is so alternative.
They are nose-deep in debt but chooses overpriced restaurants to impress new acquaintances. Credit score doesn’t matter.
#4. Drama
Some people think being hopeless and depressed is sexy. There’s nothing wrong if they are “actually” depressed. There’s a shrink in every several miles. The problem is when they are faking depression. That’s just drama and the only drama I can bear is the one write for movies and books.
I know someone who wouldn’t respond to our text messages. One day, we saw her and asked if she was alright. It was a simple question, answerable by yes or no. Instead, she started ranted about us being demanding. It was followed a series of wanting to get together and then cancelling last minute, dropping “hints” about maybe needing help but never asking and then making us feel guilty that we didn’t offer, avoiding some of us and then talking to one of us about how she misses the rest of us…
For gud’s sake, I graduated from high school more than a decade ago.
How can someone be in their 30s and act like they’re 12? Do they think they are sexy and disheveled? Dude, at this point, they’re are not even lunatics, they’re just downright annoying.
#5. Politics
I wrote speeches for a former President. I can do “that” politics. What I don’t like is the politics at work. I experienced that in one of my former work. I didn’t do so well. When I got here in the U.S., I was warned by friends to be careful of other Filipinos because they play politics so hard, they put Trump to shame.
They are right.
What makes it so bad is that Filipinos like playing politics against our own. It’s sad and it’s true and I am so done with it. I went to work for a company and every Filipino in the company was talking s**t behind my back about me. I mean, at least give me a chance to be annoying before you dislike me. It was my first freakin’ day.
... And so I stopped giving a f*ck
I just don’t have enough of it to give it to anyone that disrespects me HABITUALLY. I get mistakes happen. I get stupidity happens. Gud knows I have sh*t loads of those moments but when someone does it as a freakin’ discipline, it’s just not worth the energy of this old body of mine.
I don’t care about people who gossip and backbite. If they don’t have enough respect towards their own time and their own dignity, I cannot expect them to have respect towards mine.
I don’t care about hypocrites or liars. Hey, whatever rocks their boat. I just don’t want to be involved in it.
I don’t have unlimited supply of f**ks to give. I intend to reserve it for people who want me to be in their life enough to respect me.
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